


Imperfect Reflections

by heeroluva



Category: Primeval
Genre: Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Timey-Wimey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-01
Updated: 2012-09-01
Packaged: 2017-11-13 08:23:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/501443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heeroluva/pseuds/heeroluva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick finds someone unexpected in his bed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Imperfect Reflections

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eirenical (chibi1723)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibi1723/gifts).



> Hope you enjoy!

Closing the door against the bitter cold, Nick stomped off the snow from his boots and tossed his keys onto the table. His bag was dropped its customary place before he unwrapped his scarf and shucked his coat. It had been an exhausting day herding giant Irish elk back through the anomaly, and Nick wanted nothing more than a hot shower before he curled up under the covers and sleep until spring.

Nick didn’t bother with the lights as he made his way through the house, the twists and turns long familiar to him. It wasn’t until Nick entered his bedroom that he realized something was amiss. Someone was in his bed, their breath quiet and even with sleep, and if that someone was Helen he would... Carefully he reached for the drawer of his bureau quietly sliding it open, pulling out the gun he’d tucked away so long ago, a gift from—no, Nick couldn’t dwell on that now.

Thumbing off the safety, Nick raised the gun as he flipped on the lights. At the sight that greeted him, Nick stumbled back against the door which he’d left cracked, causing it to slam shut with a bang. Startled blue eyes met sleepy, bewildered blue, until they focused on the gun in Nick’s hand and a hit of unease entered his gaze.

“Nick, what’s going on?”

Nick squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head in denial. This wasn’t real, couldn’t be real. His dreams were never this good though. A clone, this had to be a clone, and a good one at that. For Helen to do this—Nick had been angry at her, hurt by her, but he’d never hated her until now. This was the ultimately cruelty because Nick had no defense against this. He’d rather shot himself than shot—

A hand closed around his wrist, pushing his arm down and tugged the gun from limp fingers. Nick jerked away from the touch, wide-eyed as he scrambled away, putting the bed between them.

It didn’t ease Nick’s nerves as the gun was shoved back in the drawer that he’d pulled it from, the knowledge, that he, no it, would know such a thing, not a comfort.

“Nick, you’re scaring me.”

Nick backed away again as the figure moved closer, cursing and glancing around wilding as he realized he’d backed himself into a corner.

“Nick? What’s wrong? Did something happen? Are Connor and Abby—”

“Don’t’,” Nick bit out. “Don’t you dare say their names like you know them.”

The man’s head cocked to the side in confusion, so familiar it hurt.

“What kind of game is Helen playing now? What is she after?” Nick’s voice was rough with a mix of anger and barely controlled grief.

“Nick.” At Nick’s flinch, the man’s hands clenched into fists, and he tried again. “Cutter, I don’t know what you’re going on about. I haven’t seen Helen in months. You know this. I told you. Look if you’re still worried—”

“You _died_ , Stephen!” The words were torn out of him. “I watched as the predators tore you apart. There wasn’t anything left to bury!”

Nick flinched back as the not-Stephen was right _there_ , so close, too close, and raised his arms in defense. But that didn’t stop him, and Stephen just pulled him close. Nick hadn’t realized he was trembling until strong arms closed around him, pulling him tight, and he was helpless against the embrace.

“That didn’t happen. We all made it out. I’m real, Nick. What happened today? Did you go through an anomaly?”

But Nick didn’t believe it, couldn’t believe it because to believe it and to not be real—Nick couldn’t do that. Not again. He still had nightmares, the what ifs. Nothing helped, but this. It had to be a dream. “You’re not real. You can’t be real. This is a dream. What I wake up, you’re still going to be dead, and it will still be my fault that my best friend is dead.”

Stephen reached over to the nightstand and snagged his mobile, shoving it in Nick’s hand. “Call Connor or Abby. Call Lester if you need to. I’m here, and I’m realy, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Nick fumbled with the phone before dialing with shaking fingers, first Abby, then Connon, and finally Lester who was annoyed and suspicious, asking too many questions on why Nick was asking. Nick hung up on him, not having any answers himself.

Stephen had moved away when Nick called, giving him space, but moved forward again when Nick hung up. This time Nick didn’t fight the embrace, clinging tightly, burying his face in Stephen’s shoulder as tears of relief made their appearance. He had gone through the anomaly today, been a split second behind the others and somehow that was enough to change things. He didn’t know how or why, but at this moment he didn’t care.

Nick was shocked when Stephen pulled him up for a kiss, uncaring of the mess of his face, and Nick found himself returning it. They’d never done this before, but Nick would be a liar if he said he hadn’t imagine it. Nick didn’t fight when he was pulled to the bed, but warning bells were ringing as deft hands began tugging at his clothes, and Nick suddenly took notice of things. Like this wasn’t his room. Or it was his room, the same room, he’d lived in for over a decade, but it wasn’t the same room he’d left this morning.

It wasn’t staged; you couldn’t get that lived in look that way, and this was definitely lived in. Where once was a room that only held Nick’s belonging, it seemed that Stephen’s were also scattered about, mixed with Nick’s. And the flash of gold on Stephen’s finger as he brought his hand up to Nick’s face sealed the deal, and had Nick pushing Stephen away and scrambling to his feet.

Stephen’s face was soft, his eyes heavy lidded in a way that Nick had never seen (especially not directed at him) yet made his insides heat. But he couldn’t do this. “I’m not your Nick.” The words were ripped from him, harsh and pained. How he wished they weren’t true. To have had this with Stephen for who knows how long, to have avoided the mistrust and guilt and anger that had led to his Stephen’s death, he would have done anything. But he couldn’t lie her and pretend that he was someone else.

“What are you talking about?”

Nick reaching out, taking Stephen’s hand in his, the simple gold wedding band, telling a tale that he hadn’t been part of. “I never married my Stephen. Never had this—” Nick gestured around the room. “—with him.”

For a moment Stephen’s face was a mask of confusion, then it crumbled as Nick’s words sank in. “Wh-what do you mean? You’re really not— We never— Why?”

Nick reached for him, but Stephen flinched away. Nick’s lips curled derisively; it was only fair. “I don’t know. I don’t know how. It’s cruel. For me to regain you, and you to lose... I’m sorry, Stephen.”

Stephen’s face was wet with silent tears. “Why? Why did we, you and the other me, not ever....”

“I’d thought about it. Dirty old man, fantasizing over his younger student. I was a coward. And then it was too late.” Nick sat on the edge of the bed, dropping his face into his hands. “How long were we together?”

“Five years.”

Five years. Wow. Nick wracked his memory, trying to remember where he was five years ago. “Hong Kong?”

Stephen looked surprised. “Yes, what happened?”

Nick’s face twisted into a wry smile. “Ate something that disagreed with me. Spent most of the time in the bathroom. You had to give two of my lectures.” Nick hesitated a moment before asking, “How was it?”

The smile of Stephen’s face was enough. “Amazing.” Stephen leaned back, putting distance between them. “If we never... did I tell you about Helen, about the—”

Nick flinched. “—the affair. Yes. It had been a recent development, only months before you... death. I was a prick, hurt and angry, and you apologized over and over, but I wouldn’t listen, so mixed up in my own pain. You died thinking I hated you. You died to save me. It was supposed to be me. I was supposed to be the one who—” The tears were back again, and Nick scrubbed at them furiously. “Where do we go from here?”

Stephen scooted closed on the bed, and Nick didn’t hesitate to pull him into a hug. “I was hoping you could tell me that. We can’t pretend that things aren’t different. I can’t forget who you were, and who you’re not. But you and me, us, maybe it’s selfish, but I’ll take another version or you rather than no you. I have to try.”

Nick really hadn’t expected that, hadn’t thought that Stephen would be comfortable with such a thing. Reaching down, Nick clasped Stephen’s hand in his own and nodded. They could do this. One day at a time.


End file.
